Ok, this is my story about how I almost attacked my sister in a fit of rage.

So the other night, I got home around midnight after hanging out with some friends. My sister’s car was in the driveway, and all the lights were out in the house, and everyone was asleep… or so I thought. So I go in, take a shower, watch a little tv, and then go to bed.

2:30 rolls around, and I wake up to a loud noise in my living room. I wasn’t really sure what it was, because I was asleep when I heard it, but I knew it was loud enough to violently wake me up. So I sit up, and immediately start hearing all kinds of noises. It sounded like several people shuffling all over the place in the living room and the hall. I swear I even heard whispering. Lots of frantic whispering. That’s what I heard… and I’m not that crazy.

Anyway, I am like oh wow! we are being robbed! So I listen for a little while until I am literally convinced beyond any doubt that there are at least three people, maybe more, running around my house with guns and knives just grabbing as much as they can as fast as they can… This is the image I have in my head.

So I get up and go to the end of my bed, close to the door, and, I’m not embarrassed to say, I acquire some kind of crazy… ninja, pouncing stance… and aim myself right at the door.  (Hence the picture of something equally deadly and ready to attack.)  So I listen a little more and I keep hearing sounds but I can’t make them out, and I’m not there for very long before I hear the bathroom door open in my hallway. So of course, I take advantage of the noise and open my own door at the same moment (as any trained assassin knows to do). Well as soon as my door opens I see the bathroom door close, and I look over to see the door to my sister’s room is open.

Now… I know what you’re thinking… and No, I did not think that a group of burglars ran throughout the house, and then went in my sister’s room and kidnapped her and they all met back up at the rendezvous point… the bathroom.

No, this was when I realized that there were no burglars, and that my weird sister had gotten up at 2:30 in the morning to make a lot of strange noises and then take a shower. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. (Also, those of you that think you’re smart because you knew it would be her the whole time? You’re not, I literally gave it away like three times already. It’s an attention grabber!)

So now you’re saying, “Well at no point during that story did you almost attack your sister in a fit of rage, Jacob.” Well that’s where you are wrong. It’s ok, I didn’t realize it yet either.

Now, you should know, that all of the excitement in the story has already been told by now, so i hope you’re not expecting some kind of big finale. However, the next morning when I informed Emily of the distress she had caused with her crazy antics… she tells me that she didn’t get up to shower, but that she was just getting home at 2:30, when someone dropped her off… so at least she wasn’t sleep showering. But then she goes on to tell me that she was “this” close to coming into my room right then to check something on my computer. (when she said it, she spread her fingers apart, just so) Trust me, she made it seem pretty close.

So to remind you… there I was, standing behind the door, ready to attack, my imagination running away with me, guns, knives, etc… just waiting for someone to come peeking into my room so I could smash their little head in with the door, steal their gun/knife, and try to take the rest down while they were still caught by surprise to see me charging them all in my scrub bottoms. (They are very comfortable and nice, don’t judge me.)

So now imagine Emily opening my door nice and slowly and peeking her head in to avoid waking me up… Do the math people! I know… there isn’t even math involved, but do the math!

The End.